posted by
sevenhelz at 11:56am on 21/03/2011
I found this rather odd piece of writing in amongst my old things. I think I used to daydream a lot, and for some reason about 6 or 7 years ago I wrote this one down. I haven't changed much, except that it originally read like a serenade to semi-colons.
Can you see? Can you smell, hear, touch a million sense that aren't yours? Can you sense a person's innermost thoughts? See through their eyes, until all you feel is a shell of a world, just one small view of the complex image you know is there?
Look around, with your inner eye; a whirlwind of images, sounds, words. Faces stare in the vortex. A smell revives a stranger's memory. How do you hold it all? Whose feelings are real? Can you watch an emotion change? It could engulf you, this power, the helplessness of the feeble minds you enter.
You can bury yourself in one mind, or open up to the cacophony of the world. What surfaces? As complex as the physical world; thoughts can scatter to dark corners or collect in the forebrain. How much can you read in the blackness that mere mortals cannot see?
Subconsciousness, of course. In there part of us lurks, suspicious of everyone, waiting till our defenses have been torn to shreds and we can show our original, true nature. Some people snap early, succumb to pressures, do what the voices say. Life can seem easier when you don't have control; frustrating sometimes, but easier...
How, then, can a telepath cope? The responsibility, the knowledge - gleaned from others - of the consequences you might inflict. Either you become ruthlessly manipulative, or terribly afraid of your gift. Can a child grow normally, with all those thoughts - unsaid, but not unheard?
Decisions. They fill out lives, and minds. Yet do we decide them, or do they decide us? We are influenced by every choice we make, made by the life we lead; but somehow we made those decisions, often early on, about our future. Somewhat paradoxical is this world; clearly personality does not spring into existence, yet it influences itself in an unending circle. No decisions are ever the same size, without ever becoming unimportant. Suppose someone decides on light, loose clothing on the very day a fast car whips past, catching on it and tearing... everything could have any impact.
A normal human cannot foretell the future, but we can imagine. If you can see a thousand people's dreams, and learn from their experiences, read a million thoughts of the future; is that not a type of precognition? Intentions are clear and what the normal person does not think of might seem obvious to you; you could become very manipulative. When you can see what others want, need, expect from you, will you play up to it? or twist their thoughts, even their world?
You can see how to help people. Having known this feeling since birth - this knowledge, this heavy understanding - you may be bitter, perhaps. Can normal people comprehend how a telepath's mind would be shaped? If the "gift" comes later in life, will a person be tempted by power, tempted to make decisions for others, or just to help.. a little more than necessary?
The darkness inside your own mind may be more difficult to control than another's. People lie to themselves, you think you are above that but you're not so different. Dark undercurrents sway emotions and surface as fits of depression, anger, violence - then regret.
Dreams. Released at night, your mind flits back and forth; thoughts unstructured, pieced together from other brains, why... hurt.. need... but... not... pain.. remember... and the images flicking, picture after picture, friends, cakes, places, trees, a favourite dog, and all so fast, so fast; a nightmare to decipher.
Somehow you piece together an education, learn to select what you open your mind to; how much easier it would be, were you not alone of your kind. Concentrate, now. One at a time. This man, read him, but learn the taste of your own thoughts; you know his prejudice is wrong. Don't just take. Learn. Add. Think for yourself, or be locked away.
Would you? So many people, frightened of being 'disappeared' - you pick it up, but couldn't you change the minds around you? You inspire fear - how much can you control? Maybe you just tell people what they want to hear.
This is a curse, you think-feel-pick up. You are cursed to never be alone in your head. They would have thought you mad, but that one of the first things you picked up was not to be different. Different is scary. Although of course, you were smart. You understand anything a teacher tells you - almost before they speak... with the gift comes intelligence, and learned cunning. Your mind is - different.
Can you see? Can you smell, hear, touch a million sense that aren't yours? Can you sense a person's innermost thoughts? See through their eyes, until all you feel is a shell of a world, just one small view of the complex image you know is there?
Look around, with your inner eye; a whirlwind of images, sounds, words. Faces stare in the vortex. A smell revives a stranger's memory. How do you hold it all? Whose feelings are real? Can you watch an emotion change? It could engulf you, this power, the helplessness of the feeble minds you enter.
You can bury yourself in one mind, or open up to the cacophony of the world. What surfaces? As complex as the physical world; thoughts can scatter to dark corners or collect in the forebrain. How much can you read in the blackness that mere mortals cannot see?
Subconsciousness, of course. In there part of us lurks, suspicious of everyone, waiting till our defenses have been torn to shreds and we can show our original, true nature. Some people snap early, succumb to pressures, do what the voices say. Life can seem easier when you don't have control; frustrating sometimes, but easier...
How, then, can a telepath cope? The responsibility, the knowledge - gleaned from others - of the consequences you might inflict. Either you become ruthlessly manipulative, or terribly afraid of your gift. Can a child grow normally, with all those thoughts - unsaid, but not unheard?
Decisions. They fill out lives, and minds. Yet do we decide them, or do they decide us? We are influenced by every choice we make, made by the life we lead; but somehow we made those decisions, often early on, about our future. Somewhat paradoxical is this world; clearly personality does not spring into existence, yet it influences itself in an unending circle. No decisions are ever the same size, without ever becoming unimportant. Suppose someone decides on light, loose clothing on the very day a fast car whips past, catching on it and tearing... everything could have any impact.
A normal human cannot foretell the future, but we can imagine. If you can see a thousand people's dreams, and learn from their experiences, read a million thoughts of the future; is that not a type of precognition? Intentions are clear and what the normal person does not think of might seem obvious to you; you could become very manipulative. When you can see what others want, need, expect from you, will you play up to it? or twist their thoughts, even their world?
You can see how to help people. Having known this feeling since birth - this knowledge, this heavy understanding - you may be bitter, perhaps. Can normal people comprehend how a telepath's mind would be shaped? If the "gift" comes later in life, will a person be tempted by power, tempted to make decisions for others, or just to help.. a little more than necessary?
The darkness inside your own mind may be more difficult to control than another's. People lie to themselves, you think you are above that but you're not so different. Dark undercurrents sway emotions and surface as fits of depression, anger, violence - then regret.
Dreams. Released at night, your mind flits back and forth; thoughts unstructured, pieced together from other brains, why... hurt.. need... but... not... pain.. remember... and the images flicking, picture after picture, friends, cakes, places, trees, a favourite dog, and all so fast, so fast; a nightmare to decipher.
Somehow you piece together an education, learn to select what you open your mind to; how much easier it would be, were you not alone of your kind. Concentrate, now. One at a time. This man, read him, but learn the taste of your own thoughts; you know his prejudice is wrong. Don't just take. Learn. Add. Think for yourself, or be locked away.
Would you? So many people, frightened of being 'disappeared' - you pick it up, but couldn't you change the minds around you? You inspire fear - how much can you control? Maybe you just tell people what they want to hear.
This is a curse, you think-feel-pick up. You are cursed to never be alone in your head. They would have thought you mad, but that one of the first things you picked up was not to be different. Different is scary. Although of course, you were smart. You understand anything a teacher tells you - almost before they speak... with the gift comes intelligence, and learned cunning. Your mind is - different.