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sevenhelz at 08:36am on 20/07/2009
sevenhelz at 08:36am on 20/07/2009not a big deal =/= not a problem at all
so, even if you convince me that something I'm bothered about is not a big deal, you haven't convinced me I shouldn't be talking about it or trying to tackle the problem, or avoid it if that's the best course
bear in mind that sometimes all you can do is tackle the symptoms and hope it affects the sickness
bear in mind I've probably done the comparisons you're suggesting and *still* decided to bring the issue up
bear in mind that telling me what I should and shouldn't care about is a staple part of how I was emotionally manipulated in my latest long-term relationship
chances are you aren't going to convince me, you're just making yourself sound like an abusive asshole.
here comes the personal, specific part, and AW, I'm talking about you.
Kudos for trying to make me look petty in front of my friends! If you weren't, bear in mind that it looked that way.
What I've tried to explain more than once now is that you trigger me. I don't know why I've afforded you the benefit of a conversation about it, since the way in which you trigger me is to use conversation tactics that were previously used to emotionally manipulate me, and while I suspect (hope, but I hoped that about him, too) that you merely think you're being persuasive, you use them often and with similar motives. Having spotted a link, I'm damn wary around you, and even if you're not trying to manipulate me, being around that kind of reminder is more than I choose to deal with at the moment. It's not that I think it's the end of the world that I get a bit upset. It's not that I don't care whose problems are worse than mine. It's that I only have myself to take care of at this moment, and that is my primary function; also, who chooses to go for a drink with someone who (however unintentionally) upsets them? I get that you want to be around me. If you think you can stop using those conversational tactics, try it and we'll see, but I very much doubt you can, and that means I don't want to be around you.
Yes, I said most of this yesterday, but apparently it bears repeating. Possibly whilst you're sober.
so, even if you convince me that something I'm bothered about is not a big deal, you haven't convinced me I shouldn't be talking about it or trying to tackle the problem, or avoid it if that's the best course
bear in mind that sometimes all you can do is tackle the symptoms and hope it affects the sickness
bear in mind I've probably done the comparisons you're suggesting and *still* decided to bring the issue up
bear in mind that telling me what I should and shouldn't care about is a staple part of how I was emotionally manipulated in my latest long-term relationship
chances are you aren't going to convince me, you're just making yourself sound like an abusive asshole.
here comes the personal, specific part, and AW, I'm talking about you.
Kudos for trying to make me look petty in front of my friends! If you weren't, bear in mind that it looked that way.
What I've tried to explain more than once now is that you trigger me. I don't know why I've afforded you the benefit of a conversation about it, since the way in which you trigger me is to use conversation tactics that were previously used to emotionally manipulate me, and while I suspect (hope, but I hoped that about him, too) that you merely think you're being persuasive, you use them often and with similar motives. Having spotted a link, I'm damn wary around you, and even if you're not trying to manipulate me, being around that kind of reminder is more than I choose to deal with at the moment. It's not that I think it's the end of the world that I get a bit upset. It's not that I don't care whose problems are worse than mine. It's that I only have myself to take care of at this moment, and that is my primary function; also, who chooses to go for a drink with someone who (however unintentionally) upsets them? I get that you want to be around me. If you think you can stop using those conversational tactics, try it and we'll see, but I very much doubt you can, and that means I don't want to be around you.
Yes, I said most of this yesterday, but apparently it bears repeating. Possibly whilst you're sober.